Jazz ... Bubble Trouble?

Jazz has been wondering lately about Jazz’s personal bubble. Jazz feels that Jazz is surrounded by a halo tubing Jazz from head to toe, (bright light shines from behind Jazz along with pan pipes soft music) thus, defining Jazz’s boundaries.  Jazz goes through many experiences every day learning new things along the way but what startles Jazz is “what’s this surrounding Jazz? Why is it so influential on how Jazz acts with people? How does Jazz enter this space? How does Jazz earn such a privilege? What qualities must Jazz possess in order to be granted entry? Or has Jazz been wrong allowing access in the first place? What really defines this space? What are the rules? Who makes the rules? Is it Jazz’s conscious? Jazz’s Personality? Jazz’s Character? Who or what? What makes some people so close and why can their closeness lift Jazz up to cloud 9 as well rip Jazz’s soul apart in dismay and hurt? Why is entry vital for life to have a meaning and painful to the soul at times? How is Jazz supposed to know who to let in and who to leave out? “

(Jazz sees colorful question marks floating in the air turn gray one by one. Jazz believes that anything that is inexplicable to Jazz is gray but as soon as Jazz gives it a color, Jazz has already sub categorized under a feeling. )

Jazz can meet Jazz and Jazz “clicks” with Jazz like no other and almost immediately and mutually Jazz brings down the mounted walls that Jazz built up experience by experience in order to protect Jazz. (Is Jazz relating to an incident in Jazz’s life?) Has Jazz ever wondered why and how that happened? On the other hand, Jazz can meet Jazz who is best qualified to be with Jazz as a lover, a friend or just a peer but instead Jazz shuts down entirely and something deep within builds even higher walls? What is that? What factor builds or demolishes these walls?

Does Jazz control this bubble or does it control Jazz? Does Jazz define it or does it define Jazz?

Sincerely yours,

Jazz