Jazz is an auditor monitoring all the tiny details of Jazz’s life. Jazz spots something … then Jazz evaluates it and runs it by a scale. 1 to 10. Poor to good. Once Jazz locates its matching spot on the scale, Jazz now takes a moment and automatically looks at the higher standards and starts to figure out how Jazz can move it up a notch, how Jazz can make that particular issue land at a better scaling point. It’s always to the better that Jazz wants to put an extra effort for.
Whether it’s Jazz’s career, parenthood, childhood, hobby or anything really, it is always compared to the better. When it’s Jazz’s career being questioned Jazz aims to the moon. If Jazz doesn’t reach that far, Jazz would at least land amongst the stars. When Jazz’s parenthood is on inner trial, Jazz benchmarks only the best methods to raise little Jazz. And of course, when Jazz desires, wants or needs something, anything, it is automatically compared to another Jazz’s something. This could be an item, a vehicle or a property. All the tangible and intangible life-related issues are immediately compared only to the better alternative with this almost visible internal longing to improve.
Jazz needs to measure. It is a tool that is vital for Jazz’s existence. This tool gives everything significance because once something is compared, it instantly has value. Let’s say, Jazz is happy hmmm… as opposed to being unhappy (compared?). And again, Jazz is stuffed as opposed to being starved … etc (Jazz gets it Jazz is sure)
Evaluated constantly, measured automatically, but satisfied occasionally keeping the challenge harder and more appealing.
Now let’s see what happens when Jazz questions Jazz’s religious behaviors. What does Jazz think happens here? Are the standards set so high or do those very standards suddenly become easily satisfied and barely challenging????
Why is it that when Jazz prays once or twice, Jazz feels like Jazz has over paid the debt? Like it is an extracurricular activity Jazz volunteers to do and expects to be granted eternal gratitude. Why is it that if Jazz reads few pages of the holy book Jazz feels like Jazz has done it all. Is it probably because Jazz compares Jazz to the people who either don’t pray at all or the people who hardly own a holy book? Why are the standards here set so low??? Why can’t Jazz compare Jazz to the moderate religion figures who pray better, read more and are simply more obedient to the dos and donts of their religion??
Heaven has a price like all the beautiful things here on earth, so why does Jazz believe that Jazz can earn it for free or with the least nominal efforts???
Jazz thinks it is somewhat clear what Jazz is trying to point out. Jazz must set standards for everything in Jazz’s life and then Jazz must evaluate accordingly. Jazz’s standards should not decline. Ever. And if they are set high… set them even higher.
Heaven is expensive. There is nowhere to go but up.
Sincerely yours,
Jazz
